writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
