There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
this is an emotional support booty call
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
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