That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
