can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
