that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i think my mom watched the whole time
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
