I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
