went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
