She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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