he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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