can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
