if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
he puts the penis in happiness.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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