I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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