You're earring is so big in my mouth
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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