so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize