Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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