I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
