I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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