i don't plan on having that self control this summer
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Randomize