ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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