spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
