Only a mothe r could love this liver
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
