I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Come share oat with me in your robe
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
