It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
