i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
i think my cat just said my name.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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