I look better un-naked...
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
