Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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