hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
