It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
