I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
