tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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