if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
