I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize