I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
