good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
