you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
