im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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