dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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