There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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