i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize