Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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