Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
