Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I could make wine with my vomit
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
