Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
