guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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