her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
