Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
