im gay
i know
yea but for you.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You need Xanax blowdarts
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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