Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
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