well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
