dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Everclear isn't food dammit
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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