I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
