Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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