i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
This is my gift to your gina
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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