My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
