You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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