I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
