I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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