I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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