What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
