Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
