is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Randomize
