I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
