Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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