You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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