I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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