my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize