What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
