Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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