So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
