You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
