Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
