nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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