Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
