Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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