just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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