remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
